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February 8, 2021
Parents often need help addressing both the mental health and academic needs of their college-aged child. When students have mental health challenges, parents often feel overwhelmed and unsure about where to start to help make things better.
Awareness and treatment are essential to preventing crises that result in failing classes, dropping out, or severe emotional issues. Among the most common problems seen with college students are anxiety disorders, depression, substance use, psychotic episodes, and relationship troubles. That doesn’t include many other mental health concerns.
Below are some tips for supporting students as they navigate the unfamiliar waters of university life.
It is very likely that your child, or one of your child’s roommates or friends, will encounter a mental health issue while in college. Parents need to talk with their children about mental health and let them know that if they find themselves struggling, they are not alone.
Keeping lines of communication open is very important. This will help students to feel comfortable that they can come to you with any problems they may experience without fear of being judged.
It’s crucial that parents make time for regular phone conversations with their college-aged children. Don’t limit your communication to emails and texts. It’s easier to detect when something is bothering your child by listening to their voice or seeing them virtually than it is to interpret their mood via a text message.
It’s also incredibly important to have regular check-ins with family members and friends to discuss any changes in your child’s behavior.
“Parents should encourage their children to move beyond texting or social media to more interpersonal communications, such as phone or video calls with friends,” said Stephanie Pinder-Amaker, PhD, director of McLean’s College Mental Health Program.
“This is a time to get creative about maintaining vital social connections, which can involve making plans to watch shows remotely together or participate in other digital forms of dorm activities.”
If students are attending college remotely, it’s important to remember that remote learning isn’t a vacation from school or a way to get out of classes. Validate your child’s experience—learning in this fashion, as well as not having the in-person community of fellow students, can be very challenging for some students.
The importance of a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and regular exercise cannot be overstated, particularly as they relate to overall mental health. It’s easy to let good eating, sleep, and exercise habits fall by the wayside while living away from home for the first time or when coping with a very stressful situation.
Avoid lecturing your student about eating their vegetables. Instead, ask them how they feel when they eat well or wake up at the same time each morning. This will help them to connect self-care with emotional stability.
Perfection is not a realistic goal. It’s important to let your child know that you support them, no matter what.
Mistakes are an unavoidable part of life, and we can learn from them. A perfect GPA isn’t worth it if it comes at the expense of your child’s emotional well-being.
All students, particularly those who have already experienced mental health issues, should have a plan in place in case things get too difficult to handle.
Make an appointment with the campus mental health center to determine what services are available through the university. Students can pre-register for disability support services to access helpful accommodations.
If your child is already under the care of a psychiatrist or psychologist, ensure that they are able to continue that care while away at school. Even if in-person supports may not be as readily available right now, many clinicians can provide assistance over the phone and through telehealth platforms.
Having a solid plan in place will make it easier for your child to obtain mental health services should they become necessary.
The struggles of being a student can be overwhelming for some teens and young adults, and in some cases, these feelings can lead to suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
Support students in maintaining structure in a new way at home. It’s essential that students maintain a schedule for getting up and getting dressed, do schoolwork in a separate designated area (if possible), and maintain boundaries between their downtime and their work time.
If students are learning from home, they may not have the same amount of structure as before because everything is happening on their computer screen. Time management can become more difficult when students no longer have a cohort of peers working alongside them.
It is also helpful for students to find time to get outside and step away from the screen by taking walk breaks or doing something creative. Socially, it’s great if students can maintain contact with friends, study together virtually, or watch the same Netflix series.
Even if students have a strong support system at home, it’s a loss to not be learning and socializing alongside friends.
It’s important to stay informed, but it’s also essential to know when to pause from stressful news. Students should be aware of how the news is making them feel and how much media they can consume. It can be helpful for everyone to step back and practice extra self-care when needed.
When a break is needed, it’s a good idea to watch a movie, read, or joke with friends. Parents can model this behavior and encourage their children to do the same. Such practices will build resiliency for the many stressors that come along with watching the news or receiving news via social media channels.
It’s important to keep an eye out for symptoms of depression, the most common mental health challenge. These include:
A sudden drop in academic performance can be another sign that support is needed.
It’s important to acknowledge that some students may not have the resources at home to successfully engage in remote learning. This includes having a fast internet connection, a private space to attend class, and increased responsibility for siblings and sick parents. A loss of in-person community, mentors, and social supports can impact a student’s well-being beyond academics.
If your child needs help managing their mental health, McLean’s College Mental Health Program can help. Learn more about our services and treatment options.
It’s never too early to call the university’s student counseling center to ask about the range of services they provide. Make an appointment to talk with the counseling center director or another professional staff member.
College mental health services may be limited, so it’s important to see what may be available off-campus at a local counseling center or hospital. Many centers keep a list of convenient off-campus providers who work well with students.
If needed, contact your child’s college to determine their process for requesting accommodations.
There are a variety of accommodations that a college can make for a student. These include:
Ideally, schools will provide appropriate resources and policies to students who may need a leave of absence or accommodations.
We encourage schools to prioritize resources for vulnerable student populations by understanding the potential need for extensions, reduced course loads, modified policies, housing accommodations, and culturally responsive therapeutic services.
If your child is showing signs of a possible mental health issue, prioritize getting help over the fear of tarnishing their transcript or reputation.
“Academic struggles can be wrongly attributed to a student “not trying” or “not working hard enough” when they are often a symptom or sign of mental health concerns,” said Caitlin Nevins, PhD, director of psychological services for McLean’s College Mental Health Program. “Thankfully there seems to be increased acceptance of the priority placed on well-being, especially for college-age students.”
Many students need support in the form of therapy in which they will learn the skills needed to manage the symptoms related to a condition such as depression or anxiety.
For some students, a leave from school is needed to recover and get back on track. Each college has a policy about granting medical leave. Contact the student health center or the dean of students office to find out the procedure for taking a temporary leave of absence.
Purchasing tuition insurance is another factor to consider. It can ease financial stress in the event of a crisis and leave of absence.
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