DBT Skills: The Value of Validation

Available with English captions.

A few words can go a long way in helping someone feel understood. Say something as simple as “I hear you” or “That must seem really hard,” and you’re likely to provide more emotional support to that individual than you realize.

Tell yourself that you recognize an inner experience, and you can likewise benefit internally. It’s a concept called validation, and it involves the acknowledgement and acceptance of thoughts and feelings in their current context.

So how can we learn to validate our ourselves and others? What sets validation apart from reassurance? And what is the technique’s connection to dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?

Audience Questions

Kathryn Broge, LICSW, shares the science behind validation and why it works, offers examples of how to validate the experiences of those we love, along with our own, and answers questions about how to practice validation in challenging interactions.

  • What is validation?
  • Does validating someone mean agreeing with what they are saying?
  • How new is the notion of validation in the field of psychology?
  • What does it look like to validate someone else? What does self-validation look like?
  • How does curiosity factor into validation?
  • What are some of the broader goals of validation? What are some of the potential outcomes if validation is done successfully?
  • What does the research say about dialectical behavior therapy and validation?
  • Do you find that clinicians using validation sometimes neglect to move towards problem-solving?
  • Can you walk us through the basics of DBT and how validation fits into that approach?
  • How can we approach validating a feeling and understanding a situation without agreeing?
  • What role does the word “and” play when working in DBT?
  • How can one navigate the DBT process with their loved ones?
  • At what age can validation benefit a child?
  • How do you juggle the differences in how a parent validates their child and how a future boss might interact with them?
  • What are some of the challenges that come up when working to validate a teen’s feelings and emotions.
  • Do you have any guidance on teasing out what might work in terms of validation that a parent might provide and when it might make sense to seek professional help?
  • Can you speak to the importance of validation and forgiveness of others and oneself?
  • What does self-validation look like and how is it different from validating others?
  • How can one work to understand someone who is projecting fault, obligation, and guilt onto them?
  • To what degree should teachers be using some of these techniques in the classroom?
  • How might DBT skills or validation be used with neurodivergent students?
  • How might clinicians want to introduce more validation techniques into their overall practice?
  • What would a hypothetical scenario look like for a DBT specialist using validation?
  • How can one differentiate between validating and challenging interpretations? How can we tell when one’s own emotions are distorting reality?
  • How would you use validation with a person that’s living with narcissism?
  • What would you recommend to somebody who is feeling intimidated by the process of validation?
  • Can you describe the difference between praise and validation?
  • How do you gauge whether or not the validation process is making progress?

The information discussed is intended to be educational and should not be used as a substitute for guidance provided by your health care provider. Please consult with your treatment team before making any changes to your care plan.

Resources

You may also find this information useful:

About Kathryn Broge

Kathryn Broge, LICSW, is a clinical social worker and clinical team manager at McLean’s Gunderson Outpatient Program, which focuses on treatment of complex personality disorders. She works with patients in a case management role to identify structure, vocational, and educational pursuits.

Ms. Broge also works in the DBT Clinic in McLean’s Adult Outpatient Services, where she runs a weekly dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills group and provides individual DBT therapy.

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