How to Stop Questioning Your Self-Worth and Doubting Your Successes
Available with English captions and subtitles in Spanish.
Dr. Lisa Coyne addresses overcoming low self-esteem, shares tactics to quiet the voice of impostor syndrome, and answers questions about valuing our actions.
If you struggle with self-esteem, it can be difficult to see yourself as a valuable person. Often, low self-esteem goes hand in hand with impostor syndrome, and any external successes you achieve will make you wonder, “When will they find out I’m a fraud?”
This content is also available in Spanish.
Dr. Coyne answers questions including:
- Is there any research showing the role of self-compassion in self-esteem?
- From your perspective, what is the difference between self-compassion and self-pity?
- Does social anxiety play into low self-esteem or impostor syndrome?
- You mentioned that impostor syndrome applies to intellectual/professional areas of our lives, but it feels like it can apply to other roles too. In my experience, I’ve often felt like I’m “not enough” as a mom, and at times I worry that people who perceive me as a great mom simply don’t have enough information. Any advice?
- In your experience, what are some of the differences between low self-esteem as it relates to gender?
- If we have low self-esteem, what can people like me do to start working toward feeling more positively about myself?
- Is the tendency to try to please and impress other people a sign of low self-esteem? What are the telltale signs of low self-esteem?
- Are there any exercises/activities that would be particularly good for helping teens/kids who are experiencing low self-esteem?
- What advice do you have for someone who works in a very high-pressure, high-testosterone field where admitting vulnerability when struggling or asking for advice/help is largely frowned upon?
- How should I talk to someone or motivate someone with low self-esteem? What can I say that will be impactful and not be ignored?
- Any tips for people who are going through temporary situations that lower self-esteem, such as losing a job or being stuck in a job they are trying to get out of?
- What’s the difference between low self-esteem and impostor syndrome?
- How do we stop comparing ourselves to others?
You may find this additional information helpful:
- The Thriving Adolescent – book by Louise Hayes and Joseph Ciarrochi
- Your Life, Your Way – book by Louise Hayes and Joseph Ciarrochi
- Be Mighty – book by Jill Stoddard
- The Social Dilemma – film from the Center for Humane Technology
About Dr. Coyne
Lisa W. Coyne, PhD, is an assistant professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry, part-time, at Harvard Medical School, and is a senior clinical consultant at the Child and Adolescent OCD Institute (OCDI Jr.) at McLean Hospital.
Dr. Coyne has published numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters on anxiety, OCD, and parenting. She is the author of “The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years,” a book for parents of young children.
Recent books by Dr. Coyne:
- Stuff That’s Loud: A Teen’s Guide to Unspiraling When OCD Gets Noisy
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Clinician’s Guide for Supporting Parents
- The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years
Learn more about Dr. Coyne.
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